The silent killer of team culture
This article actually came to life after a walk through the Sonian Forest. What struck me? Even on a free, sunny Saturday morning, people were mostly talking about what isn’t working at work. Frustration, tension, not being heard… but at work itself, it remains quiet. And that really got to me. Because these conversations don’t belong in the shadows – they belong within the team or the organisation.
Let’s be honest: gossip might feel harmless – even fun. But it slowly eats away at trust, performance and connection within your team.
As a leadership coach I often see: that behind every negative or even toxic work culture hides a river of whispers, half-truths, and « just between us’. »
So let’s talk about it. For real.
Why gossip feels good – but isn’t
Gossip most of the time acts like social glue. It creates a temporary “us” feeling – a moment of connection. It even helps release stress when we’re frustrated about someone’s behaviour or when things are unclear and let’s be honest, talking about someone feels easier than talking to them. It can also be used as a way to gain influence in certain situations.
Sounds relatable, right?
But the real impact? That’s another story.
The real cost of workplace gossip
It all starts with a feeling. You’re in a team meeting. The agenda is clear, the tone is polite. But something feels… off. People avoid eye contact. A joke falls flat. There’s a subtle tension that no one names, but everyone feels.
Afterwards, two colleagues linger behind. You hear laughter behind a closed door. You tell yourself it’s nothing. But deep down, a thought creeps in:
“Was that about me? Or about someone else?”
That’s how gossip usually works. Not with big scandals or dramatic outbursts, but with tiny, quiet moments that erode safety. A pause in conversation. A glance. A whisper.
And over time? Those moments add up and create hesitation where there should be trust. Distance where there should be collaboration.
What we don’t say… still shapes the culture
Gossip is rarely about facts. It’s about emotions left unspoken:
- Frustrations we don’t know how to express
- Insecurity we try to mask
- Tension we hope someone else will address
« Trust is like a savings account. Gossip? Constant withdrawals without deposits. »
Instead of naming what we feel, we share stories. And those stories? They shape how people show up or hold back. The behaviour starts to shift, teams walking on eggshells instead of solving problems. Leaders who lose authority without knowing why and colleagues who second-guess whether they belong.
Here’s what it really costs:
- Trust erosion: “Can I trust what they say behind my back?”
- Time drain: 15 minutes of gossip here, 20 there – it adds up.
- Focus loss: People worry more about what’s said than what needs doing.
- Emotional fatigue: Constant second-guessing drains morale.
- Leadership credibility: Even great decisions lose authority when distorted by gossip.
It’s not just a communication issue. It’s a connection issue.
We gossip because we’re human and humans want to feel like they belong. We do it because we feel something and we don’t know how to process it – so we process it with someone else to make sense of it. Most of the time, it’s not even with the intention to hurt or harm anyone. It’s simply a way of dealing with something we don’t fully understand yet, so we want to process what’s going on inside.
Unfortunately, that often happens in the wrong setting, at the wrong moment — and with the wrong person.
Instead of speaking directly to the one who triggered something in us, we vent to someone else. Not to hurt anyone, but because it feels safer. Only… it doesn’t solve anything. It creates more distance instead of real connection.
And here’s the truth: Workplace gossip isn’t just “part of the culture.” It is the culture – if we let it be.
So what can we do instead?
We replace gossip with:
- Open dialogue
- Clear feedback
- Creating safe spaces to speak up
- Leaders who model vulnerability and boundaries
We replace silence with connection.
Because the goal isn’t to “ban gossip.”
It’s to build teams where people don’t need it in the first place.
So, pause for a second.
What have you heard in your team lately – but did not address?
What’s going inside of you but remains unsaid and needs to be voiced?
What do organiations need?
Well, let me be clear, they don’t need a new ‘gossip policy’. But a safe environment where people learn how to have real conversation about how they feel.
Leadership isn’t about stopping gossip. It’s about transforming it.
Gossip doesn’t start with “the team.” It starts with one person – you, me, anyone – feeling something they don’t know how to express.
- What emotion is underneath it?
- What need is not being met?
When leaders understand this, they can turn gossip into growth.
Would you like to go deeper into how gossip shows up in teams – and what leaders can actually do about it?
Listen to the latest episode of Leadership with Layla:
“Gossip – the silent killer of team culture.”
Now streaming
